forgiveness

9 years ago my father was living in his shop out in the woods and when I found him, he was barely breathing and appeared to be dying. I begged, pleaded and guilt3d then practically carried him to my car, put MY CHILDS oxygen on him and took him to the hospital. When he was well enough to leave, he insisted on going back to the shop. So I took him. By the end of the month I was dragging him back to the hospital again. Then I brought him to my home so I could make sure he ate and took his meds. 

It was like old times. Until I met my husband. When I met him my father turned into an angry bear spouting anger and filth. At one point he told my future husband that if he stayed with me, he'd lose his child, as I was about to lose custody of mine. Which I still cannot understand. I'm not a perfect mother, but I am not a bad one. And when I called him on this he screamed at me, telling me I should have left him to die. 

He has never forgiven me for saving his life. Or for moving on with my own. 

Today is his birthday. And I will not call him.

My sister is insisting that he lives in squalor and needs to be in assisted living.

I FULLY AGREE.

But the one thing I know is that I legally cannot force him into one. I cannot make him take care of himself. And my children and I are more important. I will never sacrifice my mental health and my happiness gor him again. Not ever