"Sing me a song of a lass that is gone. Say, could that lass be I?" I felt that. The person I was, the essence of ME seemed to be missing, and I couldn't find a way back.
"Billow and breeze, Islands and seas, mountains of rain and fog." That feeling of having absolutely no control over where I was or what I was experiencing. I had no hope of control for fair weather or storm. No hope of choosing the course the ship was on.
"All that was good, all that was fair, all that was me is gone." Yet another reference to the loss of my identity. I felt that all the traits that made me shine from within had been snuffed out.
The song never seemed to bring me to Skye. To finish that hopeless journey and reach solid ground again.
The folk singer I like to follow chose to do her own version, she mentioned looking back to see her footprints in the sand while she walked beside the ocean. And that's when I finally understood it all. I go to the ocean to heal the hurts of my heart. I get on that boat and travel to sky.
But the journey since son's death wouldn't end. I couldn't heal.
Getting the mental help I so desperately needed, but could not afford, has changed everything for me. I rode out the storm and found land once more. And I chose to leave that ship, and allow the sound of crashing waves to cleanse the grief from my heart and mind. And I have found her again, and she shines even brighter than before because she has walked through the fires of a living hell and come out stronger than before.
