exhausted pideon

A friend recently posted a joke asking if people were morning larks or night owls, and mentioning that she was an exhausted pigeon. This joke caused a chuckle that turned to an exhausted sob. You see, that's where I am right now. I feel old and tired today. I don't know if it's the day, or how long and hard I have worked on things, but I'm having a hard time focusing on tasks that NEED to be done. I cannot seem to bring myself to work on my business, rather wanting to either sit idle or work on hobby tasks. Or when better, venture out into the spring sunshine and get my hands dirty with the plants I have purchased to make my home pretty again. But instead I sit and stare at a blank wall, too tired to do ANY of it, yet unable to simply go back to sleep. 

I know part of this is the poor eating of mine lately. And still more is the amount of work I HAVE done. But I think part of it is the bone deep weariness, and even loneliness I feel. It's been so long since I could go and sit with a friend while watching our children play. I want to cry some days at that emptiness I feel. But until I can feel that companionship again, I will nestle in my perch, the exhausted pigeon, working as best I can, and caring for my brood.