help

I just need someone to help. And I mean, see something needs to be done and do it, not wait until I ask. 

I'm exhausted. My baby is 3 weeks old today, I was woken every 3 hours last night. This morning the first thing I did was pump for an hour, because while I'm trying to wean my production down, its not working and not pumping HURTS. 

The SECOND thing I did was get my kids up. The third was make a long list of phone calls to reschedule appointments for someone else, because when the appointments were made BY SOMEONE ELSE, no one bothered to tell me when they were, so they were all missed. 

I was honestly too tired to make myself breakfast,  or even do more than cereal for my kids. But then I went to the grocery store in hopes of finding that ONE food item I'm craving, that I haven't been able to find in enough quantity to keep me fed, because its LITERALLY the only thing that sounds good right now. 

Then I come home and make the baby a bottle. Because if I want what little milk I could produce, that I painstakingly pumped, to get used, I'm the only one who will heat it up to give it to my daughter. But I was told yesterday that if I want to do that then I need to "do it on my own time" and not leave my daughter fussing with someone else while I heat it. So I carry her up to the kitchen and begin the process. But I see the sink is overflowing with dishes, so I clear it one handed, enough to heat her bottle. Then I go change her and get her settled in her play pen, because now I know I'm going to have to do the dishes. 

I finish unloading the dishwasher. The one that everyone in the house has been pulling dishes out of since it finished running 2 days ago. Then I reload it. This takes just long enough for the milk to warm up, but longer than it took for my daughter to start crying. 

Once I get her milk in her bottle, and her and I down stairs again and all settled in to feed her, my father in law yells "weakly" down the stairs, so I tell my husband to go help him, it sounds serious. All he wanted was to make sure I'd rescheduled his appointments. Oh, and to ask if he can eat those mini pies id grabbed while at the store. Oh, and wash his bedding too. 

I stare at my tiny baby, slowly swallowing, and begin to cry. I'm so tired. I'm so hungry. And now I have even more to do. 

Once she finishes eating, and I've gotten enough burps that I feel she won't throw up what I've fed her, I lay her down and go up to make myself breakfast and the other children lunch. 

I enter my kitchen and see the heaping recycling can and the now full garbage. I think of the garbage upstairs in my room, and the other down in the media room, both full as well. So I put aside my plans of food and begin taking the garbage out. When I get out to the cans and open the recycling, I see that the last helpful person threw BAGS of recycling away. This isn't allowed. So I will have to reach into this large bin and grab these bags, to dump out, and put the bags in the actual garbage can. 

4 empty garbages later, I wash my hands and begin making food. Its 1:30. My hands shake as I twist the salt grinder, my muscles still weak from the blood loss of delivery and lack of food, and exhausted from what they have already done. I am so tempted to change my mind. To put away the real food I was going to cook and make peanut butter sandwiches for the kids and simply not eat. I'm too tired for this. And I'm not done. I still have to carry the laundry baskets up, swap the wash into the dryer and then go strip and remake my father in laws queen sized bed with 3 blankets and 4 pillows. 

So, I need help. I need someone to see the garbage can is full and take them out without me asking. I need them to remember that I've explained for 6 years that we are NOT allowed to put garbage bags into the recycling can. I need them to take the extra few minutes to empty the dishwasher when they see its still full and clean. To hold and bounce and rock my daughter while we wait for the breastmilk to warm. 

Thats all I ask. I think I can do the rest right now. I just need a little help until my body recovers enough to do it all.